MJK

Maynard James Keenan: Springfield, Missouri: the buckle of the Bible belt. Unbuckle the belt, take off your pants, and drive drunk (during a concert, Springfield, MO, 8 March 1997).

Maynard James Keenan: Maybe we should have prefaced the show. You know a lot of people get the wrong idea when it comes to the message of our music. Do you know the difference between compassion and fear? Progression and stagnation? Quit beating on each other (Directed toward persons in the audience who were violently "moshing"; Boise, ID, 16 August 1998).

Maynard James Keenan: Religion, TV, and media...have powerful effects on the way people see the world. When we’re on the tour bus traveling from city to city, we have a Play Station 2. When I play [a game called] Quake 3 for a few days, I find it impedes with my ability to relate to people. So media in its various forms does, to some degree, affect the way in which we interact with one another. I have to deliberately separate myself from this game and the real world. Lately, the media has turned us into suspicious Americans. The media has generated enough fear to allow Congress to give the cops permission to check our colons whenever they want to. (On the greatest injustices in the world right now; from a 2001 interview)

Maynard James Keenan: I think [the situation in America] is going to have to come to a head, because it's gone so far, and the people that have been duped are embarrassed, but they're not going to do anything about it. They're going to toe the line just to see if it pans out in their direction so they can say, "See, I was right." It really is imploding; it's getting nuts everywhere — and it's this crazy nationwide, if not global, push for this polarizing religious fanaticism that's just infecting everything. I mean one of the Baldwin brothers is now preaching. Jesus f--king Christ! (from a 2006 Interview)

Maynard James Keenan: I think it's really important for people who have some kind of access to this industry, or some kind of success, to understand that this is not the real world. If you really want your children to grow up in a stable environment that's going to foster actual skills that will translate globally, you can't do it [in L.A.]. Either that or you have to put them in a situation where they're going to grow up in a different way (After being asked what sort of values MJK wants to pass down to his son, Devo).

Maynard James Keenan: We just released our new album and I want everyone to go buy a copy because I want to add another wing to my vinyard. (during the Tool concert at Detroit, MI on 15 May 2006)

Maynard James Keenan: Sorry about the ticket scalpers. I suggest you scalp them back. Not literally though, I could get into legal trouble for saying that. (during Tool's show at Kansas City, MO on 11 May 2006)

Maynard James Keenan: Welcome to our first show in many years. We wanted to take it down a notch, keep it all small and intimate, invite a few friends. Welcome... But you, dude. You need to put your f---ing clothes back on. You're bumming me out. Got lost on the way to Burning Man. (just before Tool played "Jambi" at the 2006 Coachella Festival)

Maynard James Keenan: The guys (the other three members of the band Tool) know that I've gotta be in Arizona for the harvesting and processing, and then I'll need to be back there again for the bottling. We'll be working our 2006 touring schedule around it.